bloody riots
The sirens ring out. The cries are heard. The lost are still searching.
The last couple days in Kenya (not unlike many others parts in this world) have been marred with much unrest and bloody violence. It breaks my heart to see so much hate all over this world, and to be so close to it takes it to a whole new level.
Earlier today, Nairobi had yet another gruesome clash. There was a matatu bombing yesterday and today, there were gruesome riots that broke out as a result. This isn't new violence. Just google if you want the news, as thankfully, I have no first-hand experience to add on to what has already been written. But this post isn't about sharing how far the world has fallen, but rather, it's about sharing my (and hopefully not 'our') reaction to it.
thankful, or just selfish?
Today, I was thankful I wasn't on the matatu that was bombed. And I was also thankful I wasn't caught in between the bloody riots that flared up post-bombing. But that's exactly it, I was just thankful. My initial reaction was NOT to cry out for those who passed away in the matatu bombing nor was I instantly brought to my knees in prayer for those who lay in critical condition on hospital beds just minutes away from me, it was NOT to plead that God comfort the families who lost loved ones, it was NOT to figure out how I can better serve the thousands of people stuck in warzones right now, it was NOT to mourn over those shredded up by machetes today, it was NOT to ask God to strengthen my weak and fearful body to better love these people...in fact, if anything, my initial reaction was to be thankful I wasn't them. I was more thankful (or rather, prideful) that I could freely run away from this danger if I so desire to, and less worried about how I could selflessly serve God in telling dying people about the Man they've never met...Jesus.
I was just thankful...
...and that reaction is so eerie to me. So eerie. So disgusting. So telling.
Isn't walking towards the hurting and the lost exactly where Jesus walked...?
what did Jesus do?
We often quote, 'what would Jesus do?', but how about, 'what DID Jesus do?'. We are the church, we are so loved by Christ, but I think we'd look a whole lot less whore-ish if we started to take the Bible at face value. Like, what if we lived out just one simple Truth in it's entirety for one day, for one week, for one month? Say, we lived out the command to lay down our lives for one another...for our enemies...fully...in its entirety... how different would our churches be (John 15:13...Matt 5:44)? Would we really worry about a new floor or a $3million chapel we want to build in our church backyard when we know... (and we do KNOW, whether we turn a blind eye or not) that the moneys we spend on ourselves could literally save human life...yes, life...and hopefully, after that, we can actually introduce them to Jesus with our dirty and blooded up knees instead of tickling each others' ears with our fancy, decked out churches that we spend a fortune on!
Oh boy, maybe I'm stepping on toes again...maybe this is going to be too similar to last summer when I may have offended people...but maybe... just maybe, there is a hint of Truth in these words? I hope so.
money isn't evil, but are we satisfied in Jesus?
I know...I know...I know there is a time to spend money, I get that. I do. I get it. I'm not anti-money nor do I think it's evil. But I think we are called to be good stewards of our 'stuff' and 'buildings' and 'moneys', and NOT called to try and outspend the world to attract people to our church buildings or our stuff (this even includes intellect, skills, talents...). Why are we so consumed with the stuff of God, rather than the working and awesome power of God? Do we see the inconsistencies? We are trying to draw people to Jesus without even using Jesus. We are trying to teach people about the power of the Spirit while at the same time sucking out any evidence of the Spirit. We are trying to be completely in control with little reliance on the God who we claim controls our lives. Instead of attracting people to the real God of the Bible by living sacrificially (Rom 12), we are taking the easy way out by appealing to the world by using the world's standards. Why? Because we like those standards and that life so much more.
And maybe, herein lies the problem: are we even satisfied with the God we share with others...the God of the Bible? Or do we prefer His stuff...the small groups...the social gatherings...the self-righteousness? Do we prefer the stuff and the life over the God Who gives the stuff and breaths life? Are we really satisfied fully and completely in Jesus? Are we?
I don't think I am.
Afterall, I was only thankful for MY protection.
I think we need to stop wondering if spending money is evil and start asking, 'am I satisfied alone in Jesus?'
Now, I plead with God to change this heart of mine. This heart that desires protection and life more than sharing Jesus to others. I chose Jesus...oh how badly I want to chose Jesus, even if the decision forces me to chose death to my wants (and maybe more) in Jesus' name. I pray that my heart desires His glory above anything else even if that requires more sweat, tears and blood. Family, are you satisfied in Jesus and Jesus alone? Then I hope it is Jesus you seek. Yes, He is the Giver of good gifts, I believe this to be true. Enjoy life! But please, may
we constantly be on our knees for the persecuted and may we relentlessly try to love our friends and enemies in ways that can only be described by the Spirit...not by dollar bills or your God-given talents.
join me
So with that, I ask you to join me in prayer. Please continue to pray for what I mentioned in my previous post. It is much needed. I so badly want to love like Jesus but am so full of selfishness and pride that I often handcuff the burning Spirit in me. More of Him, less of me. Pray for this if you wish to join me. If I can specifically be praying for you, I will. Let me know how.
-with much love.
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